Okay, so it’s fair game to say that the above quote is quite lit­er­ally the deep­est thing in Trans­form­ers, but really who cares? When you have huge robots, big guns, cool gad­gets and a bom­bas­tic sound­track is it all that nec­es­sary to expect (or want) a pro­lific sto­ry­line with mind-boggling ques­tions about any­thing and every­thing? I say no Sir, no no no…

The film itself is sum­mer fluff, no? Built to make us go “Oooo, look at that mas­sive ‘bot smash into that other mas­sive ‘bot!” Toss in a few men in uni­forms and a hot jail bait teenager (or two I guess) and you have your­self a pretty typ­i­cal action flick for the kids, geeks, men-who-love-guns, Chevy-enthusiasts and any­one else who doesn’t spend their time knit­ting sweaters for fun in the sun.

I’m not going into details (the three there are) but I enjoyed it. I didn’t expect much so I have no com­plaints unlike those I sus­pect were look­ing for the next best thing after Star Wars and although I heard many com­plaints about the robots speak­ing all I have to say is, Huh? They spoke in the car­toons and the cartoon-movie in the ’80’s so why wouldn’t they now? Opti­mus Prime’s voice is syn­ony­mous amongst fans of the orig­i­nal so to leave it out would be like hav­ing He-Man with­out Skele­tor… crazy.

The same applies to the humans. Focus more on the robots? Leave out the peo­ple? I doubt that would make it any bet­ter. We needed the peo­ple to sim­ply give us a breath and some pro­logue… epi­logue… rea­son… pseudo-plot… con­nec­tion … basi­cally they were the glue.

The effects were sound. So sound it was impres­sive to see an Auto­bot and a Decep­ti­con go toe-to-toe with­out it look­ing totally green-screen. The trans­for­ma­tions were up to par and the acting/script was about the usual for, again, a sum­mer flick (espe­cially one made by Michael Bay and Steven Spiel­berg) so no complaints.

Shia LeBeouf though… not sure what the big deal about the kid is to be hon­est. Yeah, he had good tim­ing but so does Jerry Sein­feld how­ever I don’t see that mak­ing Jerry the next big act­ing super­star (did make him enough money to roll in though…).

To sum it up and to explain the lack of plot for the over­all expe­ri­ence I’ll let the Witwicky fam­ily quote say it all,